Donald Trump tweets a lot.

And he tweets a lot of insults.

This week, we want your team name to be what Donald Trump would tweet if he was insulting himself.

He married a foreigner.

What an idiot, spends all day on Twitter.

Crooked Don won’t release his tax returns.

Anything involving Trump insulting himself will get you a bonus point.

Have an interesting week.

Here’s what you may have missed this week at iQ Trivia.

WINNERS

First of all, we staged our annual Champions League Trivia on Sunday, and the Bagpuss Finger was awarded to a new team “The Uncalled Four.”

If you won, here’s evidence just in case anyone doesn’t believe you.

And we had the first of a number of fundraisers for bushfire charities, which was won by this lot.

JACKPOTS

They got all three jackpot questions to beat out another team.

And they came in last place, but still knew enough about Civil War battles & 60’s hairstyles to win a jackpot.

TEAM NAMES

You’re a pretty depressing & nihilistic group if your security questions are anything to go by.

What colour hat were you wearing when you decided to break up the royal family?

What brand of cigarettes was your dad going to the shop for when he left forever?

At what age did your dad go out to “buy milk”?

What was the first reason you were prescribed anti-fungal cream?

In what city did your parent’s accidentally conceive you?

How many people left you before you accepted you would always be alone?

What’s you mum’s bra size?

When did you realise you’d spent every Tuesday for two years with an American?

What is the name of your first stillborn child?

What is the temperature in Calgary today? (Answer: -29.)

To which priest did you lose your virginity?

What was the name of your first imaginary girlfriend?

How many partners have you caught cheating on you with family members?

Does anyone love you?

Your age.

How old were you when you found out mummy was cheating on daddy?

In what year did you get herpes?

Which of my uncles is not a registered sex offender?

Which of you uncles is best in bed?

Who was you most handsy sports coach?

When did you last cry after sex?

What’s Prince Andrew’s favourite pizza place?

How many people will come to your funeral?

How many times have you failed suicide, like you failed everything else?

What is your mother’s maiden name? (Not your adopted mother, the one who abandoned you at the hospital)

Which teacher did you call “mummy” in front of the whole class?

When will death come?

What was the name of the first pet you had to put down?

What Joni Mitchell song do you most identify with?

When was the first time you disappointed yourself?

When was the last time you got a hug?

When do you hope to lose your virginity?

What native Australian animal do you miss the most?

TriviArt

Thunderous Exit

Salty Possum

Wet Juice

Cromulent Dog

Magical Clock

Fat Fans

Alluring Chopsticks

INTERESTING MOMENTS

A bonus round question on the Czech flag resulted in a Czech member of the bar staff having her moment of glory.

We asked about who periodically resides at Holyrood Palace & where it’s located, and a Scotsman informed us that we had pronounced it wrong loud enough to the rest of the room to hear, which did rather give a clue that it’s in Scotland. Also, someone answered that the Duke of Edinburgh resides there, and since that’s Prince Phillip, and he’s married to the Queen, he does technically reside there periodically, so we gave them credit even though it wasn’t exactly what we were looking for.

When we asked about four letter countries, one player reflexively went for Tonga. It was his intuitive answer to three questions, none of which were right. (But one of these days we will ask a question about Tonga & he’ll have his moment of glory.)

One team forgot to do a homework question on Colin Firth film roles, so they gave us a detailed description of each role rather than the character name. That amount of effort is worth a point.

See you next week.

In the survey that revealed that only 40% of British MPs knew that the chance of flipping two heads with two coins was 1 in 4, who was more likely to be correct? Conservative MPs or Labour MPs?

The first new player to comment on the website with the correct answer wins a free drink at their next iQ Trivia show.

On Monday we learned the chance of getting two heads when flipping two coins is 1 in 4.

In a 2012 survey of British MPs, what percent got the right answer.

The first new player to comment on the website within 3% of the correct answer wins a free drink at their next iQ Trivia show.

If you flip two coins, what is the chance of getting two heads?

The first new player to comment on the website with the correct answer wins a free drink at their next iQ Trivia show.

When you can’t log into an account, you generally get asked security questions.

And normally they’re pretty run of the mill.

But this week we want your team name to be a particular depressing or nihilistic security question.

How old were you when you gave up on your dreams?

In what city did you first experience self loathing?

What was the name of your first childhood pet to die?

Yes team names might get a bit grim this week. Embrace it.

Any needlessly depressing security questions will get you a bonus point.

(In all seriousness, if you have issues with depression, organisations like the Black Dog Institute and Beyond Blue are there to help.)

Have an interesting week.

Here’s what you may have missed this week at iQ Trivia.

WINNERS

If you won, here’s evidence just in case anyone doesn’t believe you.

JACKPOTS

They made a lucky guess on kayaking at the Olympics.

They made an educated (and lucky) guess on Daniel Craig.

TEAM NAMES

What resolutions are you sure to keep? THESE resolutions.

Have more regrets.

Disappointing our loved ones.

I will continue to procrastin…

My new year’s resolution is to be more assertive… if that’s ok with you guys.

Not leave baby at trivia.

The Vegenuaries (we asked, and it’s going vegetarian for January. Nothing to do with vaginas.)

Be fly as hell.

Star my year with a bang like General Soleimani

Not knowing how to give handshakes – Scott Morrison

Eating more Vietnamese food.

Only make fun of Ilya’s mum in days ending in Y.

Stop drawing Ilya’s mum.

We won’t mock Joe’s accent.

My new year’s resolution is to keep my new year’s resolution.

Avoid divorce by practicing polygamy.

I will argue over a team name and still pick the worst one.

I will fail to think of witty trivia team names.

I will wait until question 20 to pick a team name.

Spend less time in front of the TV, because I can stream on my phone.

I won’t be as unlikeable as Scotty from Marketing.

Keep breathing.

Inhale more smoke.

Wear more respiratory masks.

TriviArt

Rotund Sunflower

Moist Fire

Titillating Bushfire

Bad Unicorn

INTERESTING MOMENTS

A team that came in after question 7 still managed to come in second at the end of the night. Which is impressive.

When asked how many Chicken McNuggets it would take to equal 1kg, we noticed half of the teams weighing random objects in their hand. As if there is some sort of mass equivalence between McNuggets & sriracha bottles.

After answering a bonus question correctly with the name Richard, one of our players acknowledged “I just really like Dick.”

Another bonus question about a man stopping the bleeding from a stab wound with something you eat resulted in one team guessing “cocaine”. Because apparently cocaine is a food.

We had to explain to one team that South America, Siberia, and Sydney weren’t countries.

A woman sprinted across the room in heels to answer a bonus question before anyone else.

Someone who forgot to do the homework question guessed that “spoon boy” from The Matrix was played by Peter Garrett.

See you next week.

Is the average elevation of the following countries higher or lower than the average elevation of Australia?

New Zealand

United Kingdom

United States

The first new player to comment on the website with the correct answers wins a free drink at their next iQ Trivia show.

In a 2008 interview, Glenn Close said “Men still come up to me and say ‘you scared the shit out of me.’ Sometimes they say ‘you saved my marriage.’” What film was she referring to?

The first new player to comment on the website with the correct answer wins a free drink at their next iQ Trivia show.

Name the musicians from their signatures.

The first new player to comment on the website with the correct answers wins a free drink at their next iQ Trivia show.